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May I see you again?” he asked. There was an endearing nervousness in his voice.
I smiled. “Sure.”
"Tomorrow?" he asked.
"Patience, grasshopper," I counseled. "You don’t want to seem overeager.
"Right, that’s why I said tomorrow," he said. "I want to see you again tonight. But I’m willing to wait all night and much of tomorrow." I rolled my eyes. "I’m serious," he said.
"You don’t even know me," I said. I grabbed the book from the center console. "How about I call you when I finish this?"
"But you don’t even have my phone number," he said.
"I strongly suspect you wrote it in this book."
He broke out into that goofy smile. “And you say we don’t know each other."
do you sometimes wonder why you have weird friends but then you snap and realize that youre as weird as them
I bought my friend an elephant for their room.
They said “Thank you.”
I said “Don’t mention it.”
Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?
WHY ARENT THERE ADULT-SIZED PLAYGROUNDS
LIKE EVERYTHING IS THE SAME AS A KIDS PLAYGROUND
WHY DO WE NOT HAVE THOSE
theme parks. just. theme parks.
but u have to pay for theme parks
that’s the adult part
son of a bitch
ladies and gentlemen, behold
the St. Louis City Museum:
Playground for adults and children.
They even serve alcohol.
I know where we’re going guys
do you ever mishear lyrics and when you learn what they’re really saying you’re like wow my version is 900% better
my mum used to think ‘Boom Clap’ was ‘Bull Crap’
what if you had like a dog or cat or bird
your pet, peeve
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